Unfortunately, we are not created wise. Wisdom comes with experience, trials, and tribulations. Those are the times that grow us into who we become. The good, the bad, and the ugly. As a parent of 4 teenagers and one 21 year old, I can attest that it is good to remember those times. I know you will find this hard to believe, but I was not born perfect. I made A LOT of mistakes growing up. While I would like to make things easier for my kids, and just jump them through to the wiser stages in life, it would only be detrimental to their character, to their wisdom. It is good for me to be there when asked, not bail them out at the drop of a hat, but allow them to go through their own experiences. And it is good for me to remember making mistakes, and understanding what they are going through.
It wasn't that many years ago when I thought I was so old, had to get married, and wanted to set up house. (Ok, maybe it has been a few more than "not that many years ago".) My husband was 22 and I was 25 when we got married, we had dated for 3 1/2 years, and I thought I was surely going to be an old maid before he decided to take the plunge. Looking back you would have thought we were in our 40's! (In case you don't know, we are now in our 40's!) Of course I recognize now how young we really were. Roger was (wait for it) a teenager when we started dating. A mere 19, the same age as son #2. Hindsight tells me I would have done things differently had I been wiser. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret that time, I would have just handled a few things differently. But if I could change things I wouldn't; those decisions grew us into the people we have become and developed our relationship into what it is.
I don't have any regrets, but I do miss many things about those early years. I miss being alone. At the same time I miss having the house full of my husband's friends on the weekends, tuning race cars, and feeding them all. I miss driving around on a cool, fall night with the sun roof open and the radio cranked. How excited we were to get a built in CD player! I miss having a house full on Friday nights for bible study, then dinner out and maybe a dollar movie at The Palace. I miss only having to worry about myself and my husband. Life was simple.
Twenty years later, I can see things shifting again. Many more evenings are spent in a quiet house, as the kids are running around with friends. The rumble of a race car once again permeates the house, as an engine is tuned to perfection. And sometimes we find our way out into a cool, fall night; the windows are rolled down, music is playing, and stops at red lights are filled with stolen kisses.
Maybe 20 years from now I will still be blogging. There is a chance that I will be telling you about plans for retirement and travel. I may speak about quiet evenings spent reading the latest novel at the top of the best seller list. In reality, I will probably reflect about when days were so full I couldn't find a moment to myself...